the internet is on fire
with satire
websites create memes
with satirical themes
trolls stalk the web
like an invisible celeb
mocking everything said
tongue-in-cheek instead
being the chic way
for netizens to say
their piece every day
Category: humor
Udder Nonsense
the cow never even tried to jump over the moon
that story was made up by a common loon
waiting until the cows come home
is a motto that’s completely overblown
there’s one claim that won’t lead you astray
you should never kick a cow chip on a hot day
sacred cows have been known to bullshit
if they can see the benefit
it’s really all udder nonsense
and the opposite of common sense
Sea Tales
I met an friendly orca the other day
all she wanted to do was play
two left-tentacled octopuses I met
played their guitars in a watery duet
I was entertained one time by singing krill
swimming off the beautiful coast of Brazil
while surfing with bull sharks off of Bali
I discovered they were gossipy and silly
but I think my favorite tale
is when I rode a blue whale!
Goat Olympics
the competitors stood before the sheer cliff
stirring nervously
nimble hoofs shuffling silently
as they waited for the event to begin
their coats wet from rain
their goal to win
no path to show the way
during the sheer climb
that would take all day
but the mighty goats
looking to become
the greatest of all time
do it for the glory
that treacherous climb
to crown a champion
in the Goat Olympics
gaining fame for all time
The Onion’s Obituary
it wasn’t so long ago on a beautiful spring day
that a yellow onion was planted in fertile ground
giving it a dark and warm place to stay
for a 100 days
but a time came
when the yellow onion was game
for a cook with seasoning intentions
to make culinary inventions
so it was plucked from the ground
without a sound
and carried into the cook’s kitchen
where it was awaited by a chicken
that needed seasoning
and the reasoning
was it would add flavor
making it a meal to savor
but copious tears were shed that day
while peeling it’s life away
as stated in the onion’s obituary
Parrot Parade in Paradise
the wise old Gray parrot lined up the young Senegal parrots
at the edge of the jungle’s lush canopy
on the sturdy limbs of a mahogany tree
It was time for the annual parrot parade
and its subsequent parrot serenade
featuring Red-bellied parrots
and Timneh parrots
and Cape parrots
and Bown-headed parrots
and yellow fronted parrots
and Niam-Niam parrots
and Meyer’s parrots
and Ruppell’s parrots
while the Burrowing parrots
watched from below.
very few people even know
about this fabulous show
where to be concise
is in paradise
Frog Night Serenade
ribbit! ribbit!
went the big bullfrog
while sitting on a floating log
ribbit! ribbit!
in a basso tone
making the lady frogs groan
ribbit! ribbit! ribbit!
the bullfrog sang
before he suddenly sprang
ribbit! ribbit!
taking everything he had
to land smoothly on a lily pad
ribbit! ribbit! ribbit!
excited girl frogs were arrayed
waiting for the bullfrog’s serenade
ribbit! ribbit! ribbit!
sang the bullfrog under the light of the moon
while his delighted audience tried not too swoon
Mouse Rules
100 words – essay
Don’t trust the cat is the number one rule, wise city mice tell their country cousins. Number two is that not all cheese is created equal. Sometimes cheese is deadly bait, and when they find out it’s too late.
The third rule is to stay near quick exits when exploring for food. Mice have modes of communication – squeaks and peeps – that warns them if any danger creeps.
As long as they follow mouse rules they can play night and day.
I hope your not surprised that mice are so organized. At some point in evolution they became unionized.
Tribute to George Carlin
the comedian who gave us the seven dirty words you can’t say on TV
was George Carlin, whose brutal honesty appealed to me
attacks by the FCC for use of expletives were thrown out of court
a victory for freedom of speech which the FCC tried to distort
while George is no longer on this earth his words are still alive
he made millions laugh about the absurdity of many things
yet there was a serious message to his acts that still clings
to our memories like fall leaves holding on until the last breeze
stubbornly clinging to his mastery of words and sly journalese
Hilarity in the Key of Be
it takes practice to be happy
to enjoy each day
no matter what comes your way
there’s no limits to hilarity
and the joys it brings
to little things
belly laughs and chuckles
achieve their happy goal
of bringing peace to your soul
look how breathless laughter
brings a smile to your face
when your in a bad place
oh, hilarity!
Where would we be without thee?
The Creative Chronicles of Dave Stancliff 