Some Like It Hot

ghost peppers are the pinnacle

when it comes to hot as hell

people faint at their very smell

breath escaping from tortured throats

connoisseurs praising the heat

as the best thing to eat

while daring novices

slowly turn a bright red

wishing they’d tried something else instead

Remembering A Myth From My Childhood

Seven decades have not diminished one myth I grew up with. It has a place of honor in my head that makes me smile. I still remember when I heard what would happen to my vision if I wacked my weinie!

I was undeterred and ready to go blind at eleven when I tossed caution aside in favor of pleasure – after some experimenting – and crossed the line between boyhood and manhood. I look back now with fondness at my innocence.

I never could fully understand the taboo against exploring my own body but would have preferred to be thrown in a cauldron of boiling oil than admit that. I joined my peers in mocking others accused of that crime of solo indulgence. It was a mean meme before there was such a thing.

My recollection of who came up with the myth is fuzzy, but I’ve narrowed it down to the church and parents universally who don’t want their offspring to ever have sex.

The End

Interview With an Old Cat

Bob the Cat was interviewed one day

by a curious kitten

who wouldn’t stay away

“How did your ears get that way?

But Bob wouldn’t say

“How old are you?”

Bob told him to go away

“What do you do all day?”

Bob replied “Skip the survey”

so

the kitten finally had to concede

the old grouch wouldn’t proceed

and there’d be no interview

no wise worldview

from an old cat

like that

***

The Celestial Diner

Satchmo singing”What a wonderful world” in a corner of the 1950’s themed diner that never closes down

a mythical diner that attracts great musicians and singers from all around

Jelly Roll Morton rubbing elbows with Duke Ellington at the red bar

the two legends watching Buddy Holly perform from afar

Little Richie, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Fats Domino

hanging out but looking for somewhere else to go

Roy Orbison and Elvis Presley

looking over at Billie Holiday and Peggy Lee

Diane Ross and Janis Joplin playing Liar’s Dice

while old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra, tries to be nice

so he can stay in this musical paradise

The Grocery Clerk

(162 words- flash fiction/poetry)

Monica was a grocery store clerk who worked for a jerk, but because she had bills to pay she couldn’t just walk away, so she tried to make the most out of each day….

One afternoon she was confronted by a goon with a gun who demanded all the cash in her drawer, to her utter horror, while she complied her manager was trying to hide nearby behind a display of a soap called Tide

After the goon grabbed the cash he was still unsatisfied, and demanded to know where the manager could hide, so Monica looked away from the Tide and was quick to abide pointing up at the office where he would normally reside…

When the police arrived they caught the goon, talked with the manager for a little while, as Monica cleaned up a mess in an aisle, the manager came by to say, “Thank you!” and “… it’s time for a raise in your pay.”

Good Morning

I hated getting up in the morning when I was in school

giving up delicious dreams to attend classes wasn’t cool

when I was on my own and working nearly every day

dragging my body out of bed in the morning wasn’t child’s play

but

now that I’m retired and have no place I have to go

I wake up early to watch the sunrise’s beautiful tableau

Blue Cat, Red Rat

one is lean and the other one is fat

people call them blue cat and red rat

blue cat is fast for his size

red rat has beady eyes

blue cat considers him prey

but red rat outruns him all day

blue cat is streaky

red rat is sneaky

blue cat likes his raw meat

red rat thinks cheese is neat

blue cat likes to frolic and play

red rat works at staying away

one day

blue cat’s tail was caught in a trap

and red rat laughed at the mishap

the next day

red rat was caught in a trap

and blue cat ate him in the recap

Obo the Clown

he was young when he started clowning around

the world his theater in the round

he wasn’t the kind of guy who ever got down

I’m talking about Obo the Clown

he was known for his funny jokes

and appealed to all kinds of folks

by all accounts he was always merry

when talking comedy he was a visionary

he enjoyed playing the clown for the day

and being on public display

the best thing about Obo the Clown

is that everyone wanted him around

Free the Frogs!

the swamp committee

held an emergency

meeting one day

snapping turtles

alligators

and fish were there

concerned over the frogs

welfare

someone locked them up

in a wicker basket

with hardly any air

so the swamp committee

gathered to see

how to set them free

the plotters made a plan

to free the frogs

from the man

when the alligator

approached

he ran

the turtle let the frogs loose

saving them from more abuse

the frogs croaked in delight

throughout the night!

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