Hats Off To Hats!

we cover a bald or hairy head

with every conceivable material

from metal to heavy thread

some hats are the best way

to show power

and make underlings cower

some people say

hats show the world who we are

whether normal or bizarre

still others say

it’s the best way to shield your head

from the sun which can turn it red

hats are always going to be around

they’re very much part of society

and there’ll always be a variety

so hats off to hats in history

may they always be

important and silly!

Sea Tales

I met an friendly orca the other day

all she wanted to do was play

two left-tentacled octopuses I met

played their guitars in a watery duet

I was entertained one time by singing krill

swimming off the beautiful coast of Brazil

while surfing with bull sharks off of Bali

I discovered they were gossipy and silly

but I think my favorite tale

is when I rode a blue whale!

Goat Olympics

the competitors stood before the sheer cliff

stirring nervously

nimble hoofs shuffling silently

as they waited for the event to begin

their coats wet from rain

their goal to win

no path to show the way

during the sheer climb

that would take all day

but the mighty goats

looking to become

the greatest of all time

do it for the glory

that treacherous climb

to crown a champion

in the Goat Olympics

gaining fame for all time

The Snail Summit

the big snail summit was finally held in June

shelled gastropods gathered from around the world

hosting conferences under the light of the moon

It was a slow moving affair

but everyone who was there

agreed it was a boon

the land snails

the sea snails

and the freshwater snails

left behind happy trails

sluggishly sliming home

to their safety zone

looking forward to next year

when it would be time to reappear

The Onion’s Obituary

it wasn’t so long ago on a beautiful spring day

that a yellow onion was planted in fertile ground

giving it a dark and warm place to stay

for a 100 days

but a time came

when the yellow onion was game

for a cook with seasoning intentions

to make culinary inventions

so it was plucked from the ground

without a sound

and carried into the cook’s kitchen

where it was awaited by a chicken

that needed seasoning

and the reasoning

was it would add flavor

making it a meal to savor

but copious tears were shed that day

while peeling it’s life away

as stated in the onion’s obituary

Vino Veritas

with the god’s favorite libation

there is much celebration

led by a smiling Bacchus

and his observation

that there is truth in wine

that imbibing is fine

and it’s okay to drink anytime

Mouse Rules

100 words – essay

Don’t trust the cat is the number one rule, wise city mice tell their country cousins. Number two is that not all cheese is created equal. Sometimes cheese is deadly bait, and when they find out it’s too late.

The third rule is to stay near quick exits when exploring for food. Mice have modes of communication – squeaks and peeps – that warns them if any danger creeps.

As long as they follow mouse rules they can play night and day.

I hope your not surprised that mice are so organized. At some point in evolution they became unionized.

Tribute to George Carlin

the comedian who gave us the seven dirty words you can’t say on TV

was George Carlin, whose brutal honesty appealed to me

attacks by the FCC for use of expletives were thrown out of court

a victory for freedom of speech which the FCC tried to distort

while George is no longer on this earth his words are still alive

he made millions laugh about the absurdity of many things

yet there was a serious message to his acts that still clings

to our memories like fall leaves holding on until the last breeze

stubbornly clinging to his mastery of words and sly journalese

I Yam, Who I Yam!

Popeye was my kinda guy

a free spirit who says aye! aye!

I yam who I yam, he would say

a phrase that always made my day

the spinach-eating sailor was very strong

always stopping Brutus when he was wrong

Olive Oly was the apple of his eye

but that gal could be fickle and sly

promising kisses and expecting gifts

she was the cause of most of his rifts

but Popeye always came back for more

because it was Olive he did adore

Hilarity in the Key of Be

it takes practice to be happy

to enjoy each day

no matter what comes your way

there’s no limits to hilarity

and the joys it brings

to little things

belly laughs and chuckles

achieve their happy goal

of bringing peace to your soul

look how breathless laughter

brings a smile to your face

when your in a bad place

oh, hilarity!

Where would we be without thee?