there’s a ballad about two crazy guys
called Hotfoot and Thunder Thighs
who made people roar with laughter
and were often sought after
for their ability to make you laugh or cry
their very presence could electrify
they traveled on country trails
and loved to tell funny tales
both free as could be
the world their marquee
these guys were something to see
Why is there always one clown in a crowd who asks people witnessing an entertaining, strange, or scary event, “Did you see that?“
Why do some men and women wear pants so tight they rip if they bend over? And, for God’s sake, why are so many of them huge?
Why would anyone buy a wristwatch that just tells the time?
Why do some Evangelical Christians today get to pick and choose which of the 10 Commandments to follow?
Why does America have more people in prisons than any of the other top industrial nations in the world?
Why don’t train boxcars only carry boxes?
Why are you taking the time to read these silly questions?
we cover a bald or hairy head
with every conceivable material
from metal to heavy thread
some hats are the best way
to show power
and make underlings cower
some people say
hats show the world who we are
whether normal or bizarre
still others say
it’s the best way to shield your head
from the sun which can turn it red
hats are always going to be around
they’re very much part of society
and there’ll always be a variety
so hats off to hats in history
may they always be
important and silly!
I met an friendly orca the other day
all she wanted to do was play
two left-tentacled octopuses I met
played their guitars in a watery duet
I was entertained one time by singing krill
swimming off the beautiful coast of Brazil
while surfing with bull sharks off of Bali
I discovered they were gossipy and silly
but I think my favorite tale
is when I rode a blue whale!
the competitors stood before the sheer cliff
stirring nervously
nimble hoofs shuffling silently
as they waited for the event to begin
their coats wet from rain
their goal to win
no path to show the way
during the sheer climb
that would take all day
but the mighty goats
looking to become
the greatest of all time
do it for the glory
that treacherous climb
to crown a champion
in the Goat Olympics
gaining fame for all time
the big snail summit was finally held in June
shelled gastropods gathered from around the world
hosting conferences under the light of the moon
It was a slow moving affair
but everyone who was there
agreed it was a boon
the land snails
the sea snails
and the freshwater snails
left behind happy trails
sluggishly sliming home
to their safety zone
looking forward to next year
when it would be time to reappear
it wasn’t so long ago on a beautiful spring day
that a yellow onion was planted in fertile ground
giving it a dark and warm place to stay
for a 100 days
but a time came
when the yellow onion was game
for a cook with seasoning intentions
to make culinary inventions
so it was plucked from the ground
without a sound
and carried into the cook’s kitchen
where it was awaited by a chicken
that needed seasoning
and the reasoning
was it would add flavor
making it a meal to savor
but copious tears were shed that day
while peeling it’s life away
as stated in the onion’s obituary
with the god’s favorite libation
there is much celebration
led by a smiling Bacchus
and his observation
that there is truth in wine
that imbibing is fine
and it’s okay to drink anytime
100 words – essay
Don’t trust the cat is the number one rule, wise city mice tell their country cousins. Number two is that not all cheese is created equal. Sometimes cheese is deadly bait, and when they find out it’s too late.
The third rule is to stay near quick exits when exploring for food. Mice have modes of communication – squeaks and peeps – that warns them if any danger creeps.
As long as they follow mouse rules they can play night and day.
I hope your not surprised that mice are so organized. At some point in evolution they became unionized.
the comedian who gave us the seven dirty words you can’t say on TV
was George Carlin, whose brutal honesty appealed to me
attacks by the FCC for use of expletives were thrown out of court
a victory for freedom of speech which the FCC tried to distort
while George is no longer on this earth his words are still alive
he made millions laugh about the absurdity of many things
yet there was a serious message to his acts that still clings
to our memories like fall leaves holding on until the last breeze
stubbornly clinging to his mastery of words and sly journalese
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