Sipping Spirits

Nestled in the in Pennsylvania’s southern section of the Blue Ridge Mountains in 1923 was a little town called Johnsonville which had a pastor who distilled the best moonshine in five counties.

Some say the parishioners who attended his Church of God were regular alcoholics who would have their sins absolved every Sunday by the benevolent man of God who called himself the high priest Elijah the Saved. Two-thirds of the town’s residents of 600 people were regular church goers. The halleluiahs rang every Sunday from the church’s roof top with enthusiasm while the towns other third of the population hunkered down and whispered dark rumors about Elijah having a still. It didn’t seem right to them.

There were two important ingredients essential to making Elijah’s whiskey. One was water. In this part of Pennsylvania that was rich with limestone the water was clean and free of impurities that can alter the taste. The other ingredient was a secret known only to Elijah. His still was located just outside the town limits and was on the forest’s edge. A river ran through the forest for miles providing the required water for his spirits.

One of Elijah’s favorite sermons, repeated every few weeks, was about the holy spirit. It would be helpful to point out that what Elijah preached was far from most known religions. The attendees were Holy Rollers, Snake handlers, and talked in tongues. All distrusted the government and any strangers that came to town. Not that there were that many.

One day a young man with bright red hair came to Johnsonville from another county nearby. He had heard about the preacher’s exceptional moonshine and wanted to taste it and perhaps steal his recipe. He arrived on a Sunday and attended the church service from the back of the room where he could discreetly study the preacher and his followers. Friends and relatives advised him to stay away from there because the town had a murky reputation of outsiders disappearing from there. After the service he approached Elijah and praised his message.

“Would you like to join us at the community center? We serve a lunch blessed by my holy spirits that will save you from eternal damnation.”

“Thank you!” the young man said politely.

The first sip took the young man’s breath away and he struggled to remain calm. He never tasted moonshine like this before. There was a hint of some ingredient he couldn’t identify, and it bothered him. He came from a long line of moonshiners and prided himself on his knowledge of spirits and how to make them palatable. He hardly noticed the simple fare of ribs, beans, potatoes, and thick slices of homemade bread. Afterwards he thanked Elijah and asked him where he might find a place to stay overnight and possibly for a few days.

Elijah’s piercing blue eyes seemed to light up for a moment and then he smiled. “There’s a little room in the back of the church with a bed in it. You can stay there if you like,” he offered.

The next morning the young man found a tiny restaurant in the center of town. While he ate his fried eggs, thick slices of ham, and still warm bread, he thought about where he might find the preacher’s still. It didn’t take him long after that before he discovered the still on the outskirts of town concealed among trees and bushes. It wasn’t that hard to find which made him think that no one ever bothered the preacher’s still. Not even government men. It was just too easy to find which oddly troubled him. As he looked at the setup, he noticed an extremely large condenser and copper distiller. There were a couple of other oddities that made him wonder just what was being distilled there. Before he could inspect the layout any further, he heard footsteps and quickly concealed himself among some nearby thick bushes.

The high priest known as Elijah the Saved came into the little clearing and went right up to the copper condenser. Kneeling he used a hook to pull out a pan from the bottom and began pulling bones out carefully and putting them in a gunnysack. When the young man saw the skull, his heartbeat instantly increased. His secret ingredient was humans! As the horror dawned on him, he panicked and bolted out from the bushes heading deep into the forest’s bowels.

Folks from Ginnery County, where the young man was from, thought he’d gone crazy. He told his story to anyone who’d listen, but no one paid him any heed. A preacher making moonshine out of human bodies? They were sure he had alcohol poisoning or simply slipped a cog when running into a tree or something.

The next Sunday service in Johnsonville.

“The holy spirit comes to us in wonderous ways my flock. Sinners can be saved here in Johnsonville by sipping spirits and forgiving them their trespasses.”

-30-

One Day in an Alley

Stuart stumbled along in a nameless alley somewhere in America’s hinterlands while humming Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

As usual, he was as drunk as an English Lord. His dirty white t-shirt was partly covered by an unzippered green hoodie he found in a Salvation Army donor bin. An invisible cloud of cheap whiskey and beer clung to him as he staggered along on the uneven cobblestones. They were still slick from the rain that afternoon, and it took all of Stuart’s weakened will power to keep from repeatedly falling.

The thing about Stuart was he was a broken man. Once he had a family. But his wife and daughter died in a tragic carjacking one day. He went crazy from grief and lost his job, SUV, and house. All he wanted to do was drink alcohol and stay in a perpetual state of stupidity. He dropped out of life. He became such a pathetic figure other homeless people in the neighborhood avoided him. Social workers would give him food and try to get him help, but he refused to go into any programs, or commit to shelter rules. His tall lanky figure was a fixture in the city’s alleys and byways. An old injury to his left foot gave him an odd gait, making him recognizable from afar and in the dusk.

Stuart’s thoughts went no further than begging for money, or stealing from supermarkets and liquor stores. He’d been arrested for countless petty crimes, did county jail time and community service, and was always released to resume his miserable existence. Every day was Blursday for him.

All that changed one Afternoon.

It was two o’clock and the town hall bell chimed precisely on time. Stuart stopped and slowly opened his first bottle of Jim Beam for the day when he saw something that froze him, causing him to drop the precious bottle as he watched something very bad happening.

A man with a gun had stopped a car in the middle of the street and was violently pulling the woman driver out! A little girl screamed “Mommie! Something snapped in Stuart’s head and he ran as fast as his bad foot allowed, slamming into the carjacker with all of his force. The gun fell in the ensuing struggle and the woman broke free. The enraged car jacker pulled a knife and stabbed Stuart in the chest! Adrenaline running high, Stuart pulled it out and got the switchblade off his attacker and slashed him across the face with it. Suddenly police appeared and separated them. The car jacker was handcuffed and taken away. The last thing Stuart remembered was trying to staunch the blood flow and passing out.

The next day Stuart had two visitors at the hospital. When he opened his eyes the woman he saved was standing at the side of his bed with her young daughter. He could see the relief in their eyes as they could see he’d be all right.

My name is Beth and this is my daughter Trina. We’d like to be your friends if that’s okay?

A tear trickled down one of Stewart’s eyes and he was so choked up it took a minute to reply, “Yeah! That would be more than okay.”

The end

Moonshiner’s Road

(139 words-flash fiction/poetry)

Illegal moonshiners in North Carolina back in the day drove ’40 Ford Coupes to get away from what would have surely been a jail stay…

those Fords took to the country backroads with their highly-flammable loads because they were a smooth ride inside due to their extra stable tension bar, not something seen on every car…

it took guts and skill to drive on a moonlit red-dirt switchback up a hill, but the payoff was worth the thrill…

the idea was just to drive away and live again for another day, so it was a race against a law that the local folk claimed had a flaw…

and some folks say that you can still drive those roads far out of the way, and on a moonlit night you might see a souped-up ’40 Ford Coupe being chased by a stock Chevrolet!

****

Just One More Sip

just so you know

I’ll be needing one more sip

before I go

I know where

you want to take me

so let’s avoid a row

but before I go

another sip I’ll need

for my suppossed

misdeed

if you must know

I’m sipping

an expensive Bordeaux

on this nice night

the last thing

I want is a fight

so

step back boyos

and I’ll finish my wine

then you can take me

anytime

Vino Veritas

with the god’s favorite libation

there is much celebration

led by a smiling Bacchus

and his observation

that there is truth in wine

that imbibing is fine

and it’s okay to drink anytime

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